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Read about my day, or whatevers on my mind.
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Tuesday, February 8 @ 9:19 PM
I can't take this shit anymore, everythings been so frustrating lately. School, family, friends, everything. Infact, where ARE my friends? I don't even feel like I have any close friends by my side anymore. So much has been on my mind these past few weeks.. I've never been so frustrated and confused in my life. I've never cried so much, I've never cried so easily either. Why am I always being reminded of things in the middle of the day? I have to pinch my arm so hard to stop the tears. Why am I always breaking down over the smallest things? I can't stand it anymore.. The funny thing is, noone notices me tearing up during the day? Noone notices me walk away, noone knows when I cry? Not even my mum, who just walked in and tapped me on the shoulder. Not even someone who is less than a metre away from me. If my mum doesn't even notice the tears running down my face, how will I expect anyone to notice? Answer? I guess, I don't. And that's a million times more frustrating. I feel like a thousand things are missing from my life right now. It feels like someone pulled out all the happiness out of my chest and left me with this. Why do I feel my heart sinking every morning when I wake up? When will it stop..? I can't take all this sudden pain anymore. I never realised how well my life was going until it all started crashing. And what do I do now? All these problems and emotions, all this crying, all this venting, but I still have no clue what to do next. How do I fix this all? I've never been so confused in my life.. I don't pray often, I honestly don't. But why has that been the only option for me now? I've never prayed so much in my life. I want to forward my life to a happier year. Or rewind back to when I was the happiest. I'm out of tears to cry. I can't take all this pain anymore.
I can't take this shit anymore, everythings been so frustrating lately. School, family, friends, everything. Infact, where ARE my friends? I don't even feel like I have any close friends by my side anymore. So much has been on my mind these past few weeks.. I've never been so frustrated and confused in my life. I've never cried so much, I've never cried so easily either. Why am I always being reminded of things in the middle of the day? I have to pinch my arm so hard to stop the tears. Why am I always breaking down over the smallest things? I can't stand it anymore.. The funny thing is, noone notices me tearing up during the day? Noone notices me walk away, noone knows when I cry? Not even my mum, who just walked in and tapped me on the shoulder. Not even someone who is less than a metre away from me. If my mum doesn't even notice the tears running down my face, how will I expect anyone to notice? Answer? I guess, I don't. And that's a million times more frustrating. I feel like a thousand things are missing from my life right now. It feels like someone pulled out all the happiness out of my chest and left me with this. Why do I feel my heart sinking every morning when I wake up? When will it stop..? I can't take all this sudden pain anymore. I never realised how well my life was going until it all started crashing. And what do I do now? All these problems and emotions, all this crying, all this venting, but I still have no clue what to do next. How do I fix this all? I've never been so confused in my life.. I don't pray often, I honestly don't. But why has that been the only option for me now? I've never prayed so much in my life. I want to forward my life to a happier year. Or rewind back to when I was the happiest. I'm out of tears to cry. I can't take all this pain anymore.